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  • "Just live right now, and be yourself, it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."
  • "People don't become gay, bisexual, pansexual, transexual. People just fall in love with another person."
  • "You don't get lucky twice and that's the truth."
  • "One time I tried to marry a chicken."
  • "Eating ass isn't just a hobby, it's a lifestyle."
  • "Did I invite you to my barbecue? No. Then why are you up in my grill?"
  • "That was awesome. Currently getting naked in celebration."
  • "Just live right now, and be yourself, it doesn't matter if it's not good enough for someone else."
  • "I had a dream that Michael had boobs last night. It was awesome."
  • Michael: "I do what I want, I'm punk rock." Calum: "No you're not. You have pink hair."
  • "I don't care about the sugar content"
  • "How do you spell America?"
  • "It's my toucans!"
  • "13, Mexico."
  • "You need a hug, once in a while."
  • "[I] Tried to cover my whole face in play doh and now my face stings"
  • "I may or may not be wearing pants."
  • No matter how weird my tweets are you guys always go along with it and that is why I love you
  • Two years ago I stole a shirt from Ashton, I am wearing that shirt today, hehe!
  • The lip balm I was wearing looks like lipstick
  • I swear if I had a clone of myself, we’d be best buds
  • Best thing about Christmas is family, except when I have to do dishes
  • Everything tastes like chicken
  • I will let you join the band if you can beat me in FIFA. Try me!
  • I could quote a page of poetry to show you what you mean to me
  • We have something special that we’re doing today: we’re starting pool cleaning service!
  • We are full time strippers who love gettin down and dirty 
  • Only you guys bring this smile out of me! This smile is for you!
  • Michael’s like the mum, Ash is like the dad, and we’re like the two annoying kids
  • skittles are so sexual
  • My life is one constant songwriting session
  • Swinging is one of my main hobbies
  • Stop tweeting me the word moist
  • How does Brad Pitt maintain his ruggedly handsome looks during an apocalypse?
  • Operation try to get in Luke's bed naked has failed
  • Lathered myself in body balm and now I'm ready to explore Washington
  • Okay, night sexies, wearing no socks, just in case you're wondering
  • You never know how great you look until you try to sing in a roller coaster
  • It smells like porridge in our studio
  • I've learnt that if you want something, go get it. Don't let it pass and make you regret what you didn't do
  • How do you retweet your own tweet?
  • Love you like Michael loves Ariana
  • Who needs French, unless you’re French!
  • Turned away from buying tickets at the movies cause after a certain time you have to be 18
  • Rule No.1 never let Ash or Luke borrow things cause they always lose them
  • respect for Luke and Michael for being terribly sick and doing the gig still managing to sound like a mix between Fergie and

Jesus

  • Taking your pants off at the end of the day is always the best part of the day
  • Sometimes I wish I could shower with socks on
  • You reach your peak ruggedness when you are modeling for perfume
  • Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still Calum from da block
  • If I don't get ta say it tonight...Happy New Year! Tonight's your excuse to go and kiss anyone you've ever wanted...Be home

by one...

  • I've had 3 showers today
  • There's been a whooooole lotta nudity today
  • Michael is awesome
  • Something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feelin way too damn good
  • LA is a confusing place
  • Sitting, waiting, wishing
  • Wish I had a mango tree
  • All of me loves all of you
  • Siri struggles to understand me
  • I smell so bad and Luke smells like flowers
  • Night you pretty things you
  • I judge a hotel room on PowerPoint placement and if there's tea
  • Spilt Jack Daniels on my shirt.I had one job
  • One day I'm going to steal the Statue of Liberty
  • 30 min till the She Looks So Perfect video comes out. I'm happy because it contains nudity
  • Texting my mum back and forth as she's teaching me how to cook
  • I would never forget the love of my life, especially if I knew she loved me back. But I did.
  • Can't sleep in this band without someone taking a photo of you
  • Don't tell Ash I stole his hat
  • Luke just walked up to me and farted then left... gross boy
  • This house smells like teenage boy and cheese toastie
  • My life revolves around my bed
  • The boys are teasing me because I'm eating salad. They're calling me salad boy!
  • Fingers crossed I actually get the job at YouTube. It was a tough first day as intern.
  • Our EP is single is finally out. Everyone get naked.
  • Sorry for my illiteracy, I dropped out of school for this band.
  • Every single one of you guys are in my top ten lads list. I love you!
  • Why does everyone think Luke's taller than us?
  • Stirring my coffee with a fork
  • My illiteracy is getting too way out of hand
  • Planning on living forever
  • Chicago your airport smells like popcorn
  • I have lost one of my runners. There won't be exercise for a few days. Maybe even months. Or years.
  • Pre-order for Don’t Stop goes love tomorrow bitchatchos!!!
  • I’m sorry I called you bitchatchos… I don’t know what came over me
  • Are you miising a sexual bass tone in your life?There’s one right here-Don’t Stop
  • Will Emma Stone love me if I become Spider-man?
  • Wearing a thong on stage tonight
  • Our song played at the strip club.Life is good.
  • Easing into the WWA Tour with 76 000 people.I hope my pants don’t fall down
  • I’m actually ¼ irelandish
  • I almost got drunk at school at 14 where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
  • teenagers scare the living shit out of me
  • I don’t know how people do it wearing jeans that aren’t skinny and black
  • I’m not crazy cause I take the right pills
  • Listening to the album with Ash, it’s the morning. I’m naked
  • Hotels should really have petting zoos
  • "My favorite memory would have to be when I looked out at the crowd at one of the American shows and realized how many people we've played to and how lucky we are. Other than that sentimental

stuff, I got naked a lot and I enjoyed that."

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