- "The only time I'll ever be the little spoon is if I'm crying."
- "My lips are huge, I’m Mangelina Jolie."
- "It's unbelievable how you can affect someone so deeply and never know."
- "Let's play Titanic, you be the iceberg and I'll go down."
- "Real bands save fans, real fans save bands."
- "When Ashton first joined the band, I convinced Calum and Luke that his middle name was Chlamydia."
- "Ashton asked me out on a date and I said, 'No, my playstation is more important than your feelings'."
- "I'm a pretty big pizza enthusiast so I could talk about pizza all day if you want."
- "I'm pringle. That's kinda like single but hungry."
- "Wearing pink underwear. Today is going to be fabulous."
- "I do what I want – I'm punk rock."
- "Sorry, Calum – I can't hear you over the sound of your ego."
- "No, I am not dating Taylor Swift."
- "If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it."
- "BONERS."
- "We're going to divide you into 3 quarters... So thirds. I failed Maths."
- "And a one, two, Scooby doo!"
- "Oh my God I lost Daniel."
- "Why weren't you a little bag of candy?"
- "I WANNA BE IN THE TRIBE!"
- "Aye yo baby, what you doin?"
- "I fought a fiery dragon..."
- "You have to eat your phone."
- "OH MY GOD I FORGOT THE WORDS!"
- "WAMWEISA."
- "You want a completely serious answer? Will Smith."
- "I feel like my tweets have been pretty good lately, am I right?"
- "But for now please continue to send me funny cat pictures."
- "Calum is in the toilet stall next to me screaming 'GET OUT OF ME'"
- "Man I am way too tired to listen to Baby Got Back right now I want to stab myself"
- "[I'm] constantly texting my friends 'help' every day."
- "They told me I could be anything, so I became a lion."
- "I am wearing double denim and I am not apologizing"
- "How can I play black ops on my iPhone?"